So to all three of my avid readers, I have some disappointing news. This will be the last blog I do until just after Christmas.
You see, the store is rearing into flat-out mode and with the added hours, a birthday party and just general life-mayhem I’m not going to find the peaceful time I need to update this blog for a wee while. But that doesn’t mean I’ve got nothing useful to say today!
Today’s post is all about a boy. He’s a boy I didn’t necessary expect to meet, and who, even after a year I’m still getting to know, discovering more and more about him everyday. He’s by far and away the most emotionally and physically draining man I’ve ever had in my life. He also doesn’t give back in the traditional sense. There are no flowers, there’s no trying to make my day easier. But he manages to give me more than anyone ever has before.
In December we’ll celebrate our one-year anniversary. We plan to mark the occasion by me stressing over the preparations and him not particularly giving a monkey’s arse about the fuss. But it’s a great excuse to celebrate him in all his fabulous nonchalant glory.
I’ve been scratching my head thinking about what I’ve learnt over the last year from being with this tiny baby boy. I can’t deny the amount of personal growth a new mum (and dad) experience is immense. It’s the ultimate test of patience, pain thresholds, adrenalin, fear and love.
But on the other hand I know my experiences are very much entwined with my lifestyle, my business and my relationship with my partner and family. Others will have learned different lessons and experiences. They are bound to have excelled in areas where I have struggled and vice versa. All I really know is that nothing could have prepared me for the glorious test of character that was ahead of me.
However, while reflecting on the last year, I did manage to come up with a slice of sage advice for mums-to-be. Let go of control. If you’re anything like me then you’ll end up almost unconsciously taking ’charge’ of everything to do with the baby. From the way his nappy is changed to feeding times and the precise way he should be laid down for a nap. The seemingly well-intended control surrounding your baby is limitless, excluding of others and quite frankly unnecessary.
An example of this is that fairly early on I decided that because Jaxy AKA small toes went to sleep faster with me holding him down (I mean gently cooing at him) then it was easier if I just did it. The result is that I’m not able to fully enjoy a dinner with a friend, as I’m aware some poor soul is dealing with a screaming baby in a cot, desperately trying to get him to sleep. That’s not fair on the babysitter, that’s not fair on me and it is definitely not fair on tiny teeth. I should’ve let my partner put him to sleep; I should’ve relinquished control based on an unfounded thought that my way was the best way.
So please mothers-to-be who are like me. Trust me, learn to let go and you’ll find everyone’s life will be easier.
But I’ve digressed from my original story about a boy.
He’s a boy that sleeps in four hour blocks and absolutely howls like a banshee whenever you change his nappies. He’s a wee lad that demands you get down to his level to have crawl chases and adores smacking you in the face. He’s a boy that looks at you with a sly smile on his face and when he giggles your whole entire world lights up and it honestly feels like life couldn’t get any better.
After a year of previously unfathomable sleeplessness and stress, this little boy with chubby hands and no wrists has made my world and my partner’s world and even my parent’s world better than we could have imagined. He’s still a baby but he’s becoming our boy and like probably all babies he was born with a Midas touch, as he honestly has turned everything we saw in our future into something more shiny, more valuable, more meaningful and hands-down more fun.
So thank you my wee baby boy and happy anniversary – from the main woman in your life (until you’re at least 22), your dark eye-bag ravaged Mum.